Happiness

What's on your part?

I started this little tradition some months ago where every night at the dinner table I ask Sawyer what was the best part of his day. I think it helps bring shape to his young life, to review the events in a 12 hour period and consider what was fun and what wasn't. Most of the time it's hard for him to think of something he did at the beginning of the day, although occasionally something will have been so exciting that it will supersede all other events for days - like the time he stuck his nose underwater. Some days that's still his best part. And it was two weeks ago. He latched onto the exercise immediately. Whenever we sit down, he asks everyone at the table: What's on your part? Which, of course, leaves guests and relatives looking perplexed, quickly checking their noses and flies. Now he's got it down to a science. What was your best part Sawyer? Riding in Daddy's truck. Walking with Mimi. Jumping in the Jumper Thing. Everyone at the table must answer the question. Arden is included, of course, though usually she just smiles and giggles when it's her turn. Some days, when it's my turn, I have a hard time thinking of a best part. I'll flip back through the meetings, stories and drama from work, and the stress of getting everyone out the door in the morning and then back in the door at night. I'll feel exhaustion burning my eyelids and work hard to come up with a suitable answer. Then Sawyer will say something like: My best part is sitting here eating chicken with you. And I am reminded that my best part, everyday, is my children. Even when it's not.

Evening conversation

When I got home from work tonight, both kids were still awake in bed. Arden was standing in her crib, flicking her light switch on and off, on and off. (Note to self, move the crib.) After I relieved the sitter and got Arden down, I Sawyer heard calling me in a tiny voice: Mommy. Mommy. He was wide awake and ready to talk. Some of our most fascinating conversations happen just before bed. He asked me if daddy was home. I tried, to the best of my ability, to explain that Daddy was on his way home when he got a call from a potential employer for an interview tomorrow and had to turn around. It was very difficult to explain, considering that I'm not even sure Sawyer understands the concept of a job or work. After a lot of WHY's and blank stares, Sawyer asked me why daddy jumped off the roof. Uh. Right. He's talking a lot lately about the roof. Apparently Duncan jumped over it. He keeps telling that story over and over to everyone who will listen. Maybe it was a dream he had. Maybe it's just a tall tale. I don't know. I turned the focus to the Cabbage Patch Doll he was playing with, which was mine when I was young. And we talked about growing up and getting bigger. He got upset when I told him the doll used to be mine. He kept trying to give it back to me, and I had to explain that I don't need the doll any more because I have real babies. I asked him if he wanted to be a daddy someday. He said yes, then thought about it for a minute, and said: "I don't want to be Daddy, because that's really BIG and it would HURT."

Unedited

We've had the rare opportunity to hang out with t2 three times in the past month and this is the first time I've managed to capture any footage, and it was in the final moments before departure.



See the BFF entry below. I've added a snapshot out of this footage that I love cause of the total back slap move that Sawyer is doing, like all guys when a hug seems to, well, girly.

Pool day

I have no idea how to teach somebody to swim. Considering we live on the water and my parents have a pool, we haven't spent much time really swimming this summer. The cooler temperatures have prevented the pool from warming up, and it's just not a pleasant experience most days. But, two of Sawyer's friends already swim like fish, and I feel like it's time to get crackalackin' on the freestyle front. Turns out, I'm a throw 'em in and either they'll sink or swim kind of mom. I tried to let Sawyer do it on his own free will a couple times but eventually just pushed him off toward the stairs and let him fend for himself. He made it. Swallowed a little water and clawed his way up the stairs - blinded by chlorine and gasping for air. I thought he was going to fall right over on the grass. Typical Sawyer – he is terrified of new experiences but, afterward, is happy he did it. This is something I will need to keep reminding myself for his whole life. He's a kid that, from time to time, needs a push.

BFF

One night when I was reading books with Sawyer, he turned around and gave me a huge hug, looked me in the eye, and said: "You are my best friend, Mommy." I was feeling like the world's best mother until the next day when the teacher's aide in his classroom came up to me, absolutely smitten, and reported that Sawyer had declared her his best friend. Several days later he signed my babysitter Katie onto a lifetime contract with those same five words. Last weekend at the dinner table he brought my mother into the club. Sitting at the other end of the table, my slightly miffed father announced that Sawyer was out of the will. Today, it was little Tayloe Emery – a more age-appropriate best friend. Tayloe, however, was immune to Sawyer's proclamation. He just looked at him, shrugged and went on playing with his car. His mother, who heard Sawyer say this to her son several times, got all teary-eyed until I let the cat out of the bag: Sawyer's a BFF whore. At least he's not saying it to chicks at the checkout counter. He really does save it for people that he loves, and I think it's his way of telling people how important they are to him. So he hasn't quite figured out that the word "best" is singular, but I'm glad to see he's creating his own village of people that he loves and trusts. I personally think it's important to have multiple best friends. Each has their own specialties and contributions. Some are ballasts in the wind while others are the current that carries us forward. No, Sawyer, you can never have too many best friends. And, at the end of the day, it's always a good idea to have a backup plan.

There is always hope

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Jumping Thing

Uncle Ross and Aunt Niki came through with another fun birthday present this year. The pump just arrived on Thursday, saving Scott from having to blow the whole thing up by lung alone. Sawyer was typically scared to death for the first ten minutes, but came around once Mommy got in and showed him it wasn't going to swallow him whole. We put it up in the loft so we could leave it up for more than one day and the best part of the whole thing is that it absolutely wore the kids out. Both went to sleep last night without the slightest complaint.

Maybe she called you?

Is this what I'm like on the phone?

Should have been a nurse

In the throws of the Great Recession, Scott and I couldn't have two worse occupations. Construction has tanked and journalism is dying. Scott sadly lost his job about a month ago due to the fact that his company suddenly realized they had only nine projects on the books. He'd already survived one round of layoffs, but ultimately the new guy had to go. He hit the ground running, and I've been proud of him for that, sending out nearly 60 resumes and landing about half a dozen serious interviews, plus a handful of second interviews. But, so far, nobody's taken a bite. He's either too qualified or the competition's too stiff. Meanwhile, I've been seriously re-evaluating the family situation and would love to get everyone under the same roof again, but with major newspapers folding left and right, there are just as many journalists on the street banging doors as contractors. Scott's three-week severance has run out, and Virginia's measly unemployment (Scott hit the top of the pay scale with a weekly allowance of $300) is supposed to kick in here at some point (any day now. . .). Times are definitely tight. I was down to one diaper and no milk last night when some money came in, but woke up this morning to realize I'm out of coffee (equally as dire). Mommy blogs tend to be about happy times- first steps and funny moments. But, the truth is that, here at least, these aren't the happiest of times. I hope that down the road we'll be able to look back and tell our kids stories of how we made it through. One thing I've learned about myself in recent years is that I'm surprisingly stoic in the face of crisis. What I've realized lately, however, is that I don't have to go through these things alone. I have incredible friends and family, some of whom have been around for decades. We are getting ready to step into the void here, and I invite you to hold our hands.

Bye Bye Baby

I don't know when it happened. I wasn't paying attention. Arden has stopped sucking those two fingers on her left hand. I'm afraid to jinx it. But she isn't even sucking them when she goes to sleep. I'd been plotting ways of breaking the habit for some time: bandaging the fingers with first aid tape, taping on a Michael Jackson style glove, applying foul-tasting nail biting solution. For a while the sucking habit was so bad I couldn't even get a picture of her without her fingers in her mouth (although just now I struggled to find even one). I couldn't walk through the grocery store without somebody saying in a ridiculous baby voice: "Do dos fwingers taste soo gwooood?" I definitely thought I'd still be struggling with this when she's six. It never honestly crossed my mind that she'd just simply outgrow it one day.

Just your average comedians

When my children were infants,my blogs focused on stats from doctor visits and milestones - a first smile, a coo, a word. And, with Sawyer at least, I documented a lot of what I was going through as a new mother. I will never forget the time I wrote 500 words on folding laundry. I look back on some of those old posts now and wonder that anyone ever read them or commented on them. I can barely reread them myself. And in a few years when my kids are deep into sports and school the tales of potty training will be yawners.

So what is currently captivating me about my children is how similar they are. I thought siblings were supposed to be opposites, and in some ways they are - she's fearless where he is timid, she's right handed while he's left handed, she's needy and he's independent. But, Arden, who I had pegged as dark, brooding and angsty in utero turns out to be just as much of a comedian as her brother. They can crack each other up for hours in the back seat of the car. She's not just his audience, as I thought she would be, she's at the mike, making faces and cracking jokes and turning him into a puddle of giggles. And lately she's taken to wrestling with him, and she puts him down with half nelson type moves that make me wonder if she wasn't Andre the Giant a past life. I have no idea if its okay to let them wrestle like that. Watching the whole thing, I'm halfway between cracking up and cracking down.

And as far as those stats, we went to the doctor the other day for Sawyer's 3-year and Arden's 18-month checkups. They were both a little above the 50th percentile for height and a little below the 50th for weight. They are both developing just great, beyond their ages verbally (imagine that after all I worried with Sawyer), and meeting all the milestones. The only surprise was when the doctor (not our normal doctor and not the nurse practitioner I'd sworn off last time) commented that Sawyer has a "musical heart murmur." Considering I'd had the full fetal scan and everything looked fine and that nobody's ever mentioned it before, I was pretty shocked. But she didn't say anything else about it and didn't seem concerned. She just said that this is the age these things tend to show up. I know that will give my mother a fit, since heart problems run in the family and Ross's murmur caused her a great deal of consternation when he was young, but the doctor didn't seem worried and so I'm not either. I'll just be curious to see if it comes up again in the future, and if it does, maybe I'll ask more questions.

Also, I'd like to note that Arden has now passed the age that Sawyer was when she was born (17 months). That, in my mind, was always a big milestone. Dealing with Arden and her terrible twos temperament and thinking about having a newborn baby on top of that, I don't have clue how I survived.