A.W.O.L.

Months ago, I scheduled a week's vacation at the end of August to go on a family vacation to the Outer Banks with some friends. When Scott lost his job, we had to bail out on the trip. But, I never canceled my week off. I was considering the possibility of a staycation until last Friday when I got a call that prompted me to purchase a last minute ticket to Colorado. (Air Tran only $69 bucks each way 48 hrs in advance). I decided that I was taking off for six days and promptly left Scott in charge of kids, house, dog, grocery shopping and laundry. See ya! It was the most liberating thing I've ever done. I never looked back. It was kinda unnerving, actually, to realize how easy it is to forget you even have kids. Since I was on the world's smallest travel budget, I got creative. I caught a ride from the airport with a friend's husband, borrowed a car or an old bike to get around, used public transportation whenever possible and never turned down a meal that was offered to me. And I made a $5 bag of oriental snack mix from the airport newsstand last the whole six days. I felt like I was in college. I even went to a keg party! I met up with two friends from high school, one of whom decided, on a whim, to relive 1994 and get a keg. It was the funniest thing. We barely made a dent in it, what with the adults being outnumbered 2-to-1 by kids, but my peeps and I parked ourselves in a corner and did our part. We staked out an Adirondack double chair, sat down at 5 p.m. and didn't give it up for the rest of the night. It became a challenge to see how long we could keep the chair. We would only get up one-at-a-time to get food or refill beverages or add layers of clothing. And when a campfire was lit later in the night to cook s'mores, we moved the entire 80 pound chair across the yard. I will say that Air Tran should be called Air Scam. We practically crash landed on the way in. And on the way out we had not one but TWO planes declared mechanically unfit for flight. The second time it was a problem with the battery and as we were sitting at the gate Scott asked me what they were going to do to fix it and I said: It's a battery. They're going to jiggle some cables and pour some Coke on the connections. A little while later, it turned out to be a circuit breaker accidentally flipped off. Doesn't it make you feel better about flying to know that there's a circuit box onboard, just like in your basement, that occasionally goes screwy. I'm not one of these moms who pines after the kids the whole time I'm gone. In fact, I didn't miss them until I was headed home and thinking about getting a big hug. When I pulled in the driveway, it was the oddest sensation to have my kids look at me like a total stranger. I hugged and kissed and cuddled them and relished their peanutbuttery smell. And I was ready for another three years of Motherhood. Next time I go AWOL, I expect it will be really big (maybe Mexico), and I plan to have more money. Perhaps I'll even get a massage!