There's a reason I don't shop at Cosco

My athletic little kids have many talents — such as moving one of their kid-sized chairs , using it to climb onto the kitchen counter, getting into the narrow cabinet by the microwave where I keep things like THEIR VITAMINS, opening the "Child Safety" cap on said bottle, and having little snack before breakfast — like, 40 vitamins between the two of them.

In one of my finer moments of parenting, I was still sleeping after being up until 1:30 a.m. covering the Colorado Primary Election for the Associated Press. The kids — I thought — were zoned out downstairs in front of The Backyardigans. The dog barked. I popped out of bed and came downstairs. And there they were, casual as ever. Sitting in front of the TV, throwing back gummy vitamins like popcorn. My daughter still had a fistful, but the almost new bottle was basically empty.

So I go online. Because what else does a good mother who sleeps while her kids are playing to do? I googled "Overdose On Gummy Vitamins" And got a bunch of WikiAnswers and Yahoo! Answers — websites where people ask questions and other people respond — highly recommended course of action when you think your kid's been poisoned (NOT!). And these answers were like: "OMG get off this website and take your kid to the ER right away because if you don't have their stomach pumped right away they will probably die."

So I clicked on one last link that took be to some Baby Gaga Forum and there's some story about a kid spending five days in the hospital with iron poisoning. But there's also four or five people who said: call the Poison Control Hotline and gave the number — 1-800-222-1222. I used to have that number on my fridge but I'm not sure it survived the move. I honestly thought that number was more for when your kid drinks a gallon of bleach. I didn't even think about using it for the vitamin question. I've never called a hotline before.

I dialed, and the VERY NONJUDGMENTAL woman, Kirsten, at the Rocky Mountain Poison Center asked me a few questions about the kids ages and genders and had me read some information off the bottle and estimate how many vitamins they ate between them. She asked about other medications and general health. Then she plugged it all into a computer and said that the kids would probably have a stomachache, diarrhea and maybe even vomit a few times. She said I should give them water and a snack. BUT — there was no need to race off to the emergency room and have their stomachs pumped.

Calling that number probably saved me hundreds of dollars in Emergency Room bills and/or an entire day of grief and worry. Here is a worthy cause, if there every was one. FREE medical advice. That number again is 1-800-222-1222. If you've googled "My kid ate the whole bottle of vitamins" and landed here, then call it. Every situation is different and they can help you decide the best to do in your situation.

Several hours in, and the kids seem fine so far. We'll see how the rest of the day goes. I've had a big lecture with them about how vitamins aren't treats, and I'll be moving everything up one shelf. I'm just glad I don't shop at Cosco. That could have been a bottle of 200 vitamins, and this story would have had a very different ending.

I'd also like to thank Duncan. Who barked.