I'm gonna kick your big "S"

In case you've never had the fortune to participate in a parent-teacher conference, let me tell you this: It feels like couple's counseling. Personality traits, parenting beliefs, personal interactions — everything that's going on in a marriage/family/household all somehow comes to light in a 30-minute session with — of all people — your child's teacher.

You may recall our conference last fall wasn't exactly uplifting. Spring brought new hope. Sawyer has made a huge turnaround at school these past few months. He's still only 3 years old, but he's a leader in the class, and hasn't had a timeout in nobody knows how long. He sends the teachers into stitches on a daily basis with his wit and random thoughts, and, we are told, his proper way of speaking (always: "Yes"; never: "Ya") instantly endears his every new acquaintance.

While drama, pretend and storytelling are his his strong suits, he's afraid of writing his own name, drawing and cutting with scissors for fear of being inexact. And, while he's incredibly verbal, he has some potential speech issues that we are going to have further evaluated.

He knows how to spell his own name out loud — S.A.W.Y.E.R. — and he's very interested in who else has a 'Big S' or 'Little S' in their names. He points out that Sylvia has a big S and Scott has a big S but Justin only has a little S, so he can't be on their team.

Tonight, rough-housing with Scott before bedtime, I overheard Sawyer say: "I'm going to kick your big ass." I whipped my head around the corner, startled, and found Scott in hysterics.

"I'm going to kick that Big S right out of you! I got your Big S, see? I got your Big S right here in my hands."