Friday, January 18, 2008

Running on empty

I am relishing those newborn moments right now where my little one snuggles up on my chest, curling herself into a fetal ball so tight that I can imagine how she must have looked inside of me. While, believe me, I'm glad she's on the outside now, I've grown so used to having a passenger on board these past 10 months - I poke on the cavernous abyss of my belly (think deflated balloon) and I feel a little sad. I miss my sidekick (kicking at my side), reminding me when I've had too many onions (ooh heartburn) or one too many glasses of water (stepping on bladder). Sure she's sweet, sleeping so soundly in her bassinet. But she's her own person now. Our physical connection is gone. It's not something new moms discuss, or even think about all that often. That bundle-o-joy spitting up sour milk and squawking in the middle of the night should more than make up for pregnancy but, still, I catch myself absent-mindedly rubbing my stomach or pausing to wonder why I haven't felt any movement recently. Leaves me feeling kinda lonely. Weird, huh?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awwww. Yes, yes. It's all coming back to me now. The baby movements become such a part of us . . .it's weird when they start and even weirder when they stop.