Long time gone

Apparently I've used that post title before. The cliches just pour out of me, I can't help it. To update you, after Scott finished scraping the scum off the refrigerator shelves, hauling (most) of the trash to the dump and touching up paint, his truck decided to crap out. To quote Sawyer: "AGAIN!" About every six months or so we have to throw some major cash into the Beast, a big black 1999 Ford F250 with 180,000 miles that's jacked up high enough for Shaquille O'Neil. But, it's paid off and, since Scott's still unemployed, we don't really have another option. This time it was the mainframe computer. Go figure that a computer can leave a truck dead on the side of the road. A week and a half later, plus some major oral surgery to remove an infected wisdom tooth, Scott is sitting at my parent's cottage in the Northern Neck twiddling his thumbs with no way even to get to the grocery store. He's waiting for . . . well . . . waiting for the Northern Neck, if you know what I mean. Things get done when they get done and impatience just isn't tolerated. No t.v. No Internet. Just the dog for company.

Meanwhile, I've gone Martha in my single momhood. Really. I don't know what's come over me. Tomorrow I'm planning to take the kids on a hike in the morning. And then I'm cooking a baked chicken and sweet potato dinner (I'm thinking about putting marshmallows on top to make the kids eat them) and I'm baking . . . no, wait . . . BAKING! pumpkin bread for dessert. I do laundry every night and get on my hands and knees after dinner to wash the kitchen floor. I do think the altitude has caused me to go mad. Also, just to top it off, I love my new job. Not only do I get to edit stories and layout pages up against deadline — love the faster pace — I'm also cranking out two or three stories for every paper (three times a week). I'm in overdrive. Other than a few low moments with the kids, like the pukorama weekend or the 5 am screaming Arden wake-up calls or Sawyer's nuclear meltdown in the grocery store parking lot that sent several women running to help me because apparently I looked like I was in over my head, I'm really happy.

Scott hasn't really been a part of our day-to-day lives in the past year, so it doesn't seem that different having him gone. Over the past year, and especially the last month, I've learned that I can do this alone, something I wasn't so sure of before. I can do it alone, and everyone is surviving just fine. But, now, I'm looking forward to finding out what it's like NOT having to do it alone. To have a companion in the craziness, good and bad. To bring back the male dimension, the Yang. It isn't going to be easy. A year feels like a lifetime, especially to the kids. There's going to be a major adjustment when Dad arrives. It's going to be a challenge, but I'm hoping that we'll all be better for it in the long run, and that ultimately we'll be a stronger family.